11 January 2018

The City

This city
with countless people
like stars
some dim
some bright
some dying
never sleeps

Its voices
like waves
rise/fall
lost in
deep ocean
heard
unheard

City-roads
like serpents
drink lives
no mercy
no plea
life
dead

Road-lights
like moths
search brightness
ultimate
untimed
death
flicker

This city never sleeps,
its voices unheard,
city-roads dead,
road-lights flicker.


20 comments:

  1. This is real, this is death, great write.

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  2. "City -roads
    Like serpents
    drink lives..."

    Those lines! So much truth there.
    Love your imagery, Vandana!

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  3. Vandana, thought provoking as usual... I have missed your writing... it's been so long since I have written but I am back and working on getting caught up with others xox

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  4. Lovely structure, used perfectly to deliver your message. Is this a form of your own invention? Does it have a name? I might like to try it some time.

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  5. Glad you liked the structure, but it is not a form. Just wrote it.

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  6. This is perfect in its description of the city. The arrangement/form inspired me.

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  7. I just love the structure of this poem, Vandana!💞 Beautifully eloquent write!💞

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  8. Yes, this an interesting style which could be applied to many scenarios. It will be interesting to see if you compose more in the future.

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  9. Very interesting Vandana . Happy you dropped by my Sunday Standard today

    Much love...

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  10. You have really portrayed well the life of an active and vibrant city. Indeed it does feel sometimes like the city never sleeps!

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  11. This is so well done in both form and content.

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  12. Eerie, the moth-light that beckons us into those streets.

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  13. Love how you have created two poems from this... cities are so complex

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  14. wow....one of the best things I've read in a bit. Absolutely loved it

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  15. Lovely metaphors here Vandana - you tease out the organic nature of the city here. Loved this...

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  16. Love the structure... and the way you've expressed such a terrible reality in the first stanza.

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  17. Oh well done.....love the form and the two poems and how they meld beautifully!

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  18. The formatting you used works well. I could imagine the italicized parts read in a hushed, almost-whisper tone while the un-italicized parts marched relentlessly on.

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  19. You captured the city! Lovely.

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  20. This is an enjoyable read. You've created a new form. Just Wow!

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Thank you for flying by. I appreciate your honest and critical comments.