31.1.14

The Valley: Luc Bat

Under the shades of trees,
below a fountain's freeze, sun rays fall,
leaves smile, as they unroll.
Trickling dew drops call birds to sing,
where the bees hum in zing,
fluttering wings, sip ambrosia,
take pollen from dahlia,
kiss the magnolia and fly.
Sun peeps from azure sky,
earth looks with love filled eyes and prays,
a view full of maze,
over horizon ways unite,
hues of pink, red, white,
this union perfectly right, glows.
A river of smile flows,
then a happy boat rows, towards,
serene, pious worlds,
along with soothing words, fresh breeze.
The Luc Bat is a Vietnamese verse form and stands for "six eight”. It begins with a six-syllable line and ends with an eight-syllable line. Each rhyme occurs three times - first at the end of an 8-syllable line, then at the end of the next 6-syllable line, and finally as the sixth syllable of the next 8-syllable line. The poem can be as long or as short as one likes. 




16 comments:

  1. cool imagery in this....its a peaceful and joy filled scene...i like the happy river with the boat...all very pastoral to me...

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  2. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this form …something new (to me) to play with!

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  3. What a beautiful view here, Vandana!! I like "Sun peeks from azure sky." It is something I can imagine!!

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  4. Vandana, you are showing us a beautiful and serene scene. It makes me wonder if spring has already arrived in your part of the world. The last stanza is my favorite.

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  5. "A river of smile flows,
    then a happy boat rows, towards,
    serene, pious worlds,
    along with soothing words, fresh breeze."
    Beautiful ....I like this Luc Bat style of writing :)

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  6. Loved the imagery... vivid and serene. :-)
    -HA

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  7. The form seems difficult a one to master. Magnolias and dahlias are beautiful images.

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  8. Fantastic imagery. Keep it going. :)

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  9. This was uplifting to read and gives the feeling of that trip down a happy river in a boat. Cool write!

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  10. What a beautiful poem, and what a beautiful scene you paint. I think you did a great job with the form.

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  11. What a 'soothing words' ! Love your sounds, Vandana :)x

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  12. You created an image of a wonderful world in this piece.

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  13. So idyllic, sounds heavenly ... and a pretty poetry form :)

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  14. Your poem creates a lovely imagery!:)

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Thank you for flying by. I appreciate your honest and critical comments.